Massage is taken as a therapy to relieve stress and rejuvenate the mind and body after a day’s hectic routine. In our society a “maalishi” is considered a magician who can instantly relieve you of your knots and spasms. However, since the last five to six years we have witnessed a mushroom growth of salons offering different kinds of massages ranging from neck and shoulder to full body Thai massages. Besides the high end spas, a relatively recent entrant in this market, are “massage parlours” operating in certain commercial areas of DHA and Clifton. Out of curiosity, I did some investigative journalism, went deep into this world, met the concerned people and collected a plethora of facts and figures. Some background interviews with people involved in such a business and clients frequenting these facilities revealed the following facts: How do they advertise? Shady massage parlours advertise through some unconventional channels. They post subliminal ads on certain classified web portals offering therapies and beauty services for men and women in a “relaxing” and “Bangkok” like environment. That’s where the catch is. For people who are familiar with such facilities, the mere use of term “relaxation” rings a bell and the attention has been captured. Such parlours have also started sending bulk text messages with similar subliminal terminologies intended for people who have a taste for these “services”. What exactly happens there? Ads for massage parlours come with a cell number. You call on that number and the person at the other end tells you to reach a certain landmark and call him/her from there. That’s the first sign of the place being a suspicious joint. They don’t operate publicly. Once you reach the venue, you realise you are standing in front of a salon in a rundown building and the shopkeepers in the neighbouring blocks are staring at you with suspicion. You ring the bell or knock on the door and are greeted warmly by a skimpily dressed girl. The very first question you are asked is the “reference” you came with. If you satisfy them, you are then led to a sitting area where you witness a parade of women wearing cleavage exposing clothes and you are asked to pick the one you like. Your pick of the day then leads you to a make shift room, made of hardwood walls after paying a counter fee and you are asked to “change your clothes” which actually means “take them off”. The word 'massage' at such parlours is just a cover up and instead what happens is prostitution behind closed doors. These girls offer you “relaxation” services that start off with a basic full body massage and end “happily” with another set of services which are sexual in nature. How much do they charge? Counter fee at such parlours is usually between Rs2000 to Rs3500 and the girls ask for tips ranging from Rs1000 to Rs4000 depending on the “services” you desire.  Where are these parlours located? They can be found in some streets of Zamzama commercial area, Bukhari Commercial area, Khadda Market, Badar Commercial area, areas close to Abdullah Shah Ghazi’s mazaar, Tauheed Commercial area, a few are on main Nishat Commercial and some residential blocks of DHA and Clifton. Who runs these facilities? Some big mafias are involved in this business. My investigation took me to people I’d never want to mess with. On the condition of anonymity, one person running such a parlour revealed the name of a famous “land grabber” who happens to be holding an important portfolio in the current Sindh Government and is related to a famous widower. Most of the parlours in the DHA area are being patronised and protected by him. How do they stay out of the radar? Darakshan, Gizri and Boat Basin police stations are fully aware of all the massage parlours operating within their jurisdiction. Some conversations revealed that each parlour is supposed to pay bribes ranging from Rs50,000 to Rs200,000 to the Station House Officer (SHO) of the concerned police stations; failing to do so results in a raid and an arrest of the clients busy in their “moments of relaxation”. However, once the owner of the facility pays off the required bribe, the parlour becomes operational the very next day. Who are their clients? Business tycoons, young boys from influential families, men from interior Sindh and up country staying in Karachi for work, police officers and government officials. What can DHA and the Sindh Government do about it? The DHA vigilance department will have to play their role in curbing this practice before it spreads more filth in the neighbourhood. They carry out raids on sheesha bars, confiscate push carts, penalise illegal constructions but have failed to step hard on such immoral activities taking place right under their nose. The Sindh Government will have to constitute a special committee of honest and competent officers who can act without any influence and crack down on all such shady businesses without any prejudice. [poll id="282"]

There is a common myth about sexual abuse. Many people believe that boys cannot be abused and even if they are, they argue that sexual abuse is less harmful to boys than to girls. This myth also implies that boys and men cannot be sexually abused because they are better able to protect themselves. Men are not considered vulnerable – psychically or emotionally. However, one must understand that boys are not men; they are mere children who are as defenceless as girls and can too be weak whence trying to protect themselves against predators. According to the Rozan Annual Report 2011-12 2,303 children were abused in Pakistan in 2011. However, crime is grossly under reported and both, boys and girls are equally vulnerable to child sexual abuse. Aangan’s analysis of 200 client letters published in 2006 revealed that 49% of the abused children were girls while 51% were boys. Moreover, the percentage of children abused by their own relatives was the highest, followed by acquaintances and then strangers. A major cause behind the rapid increase in the number of child abuse cases in Pakistan has been the denial of family and other members of the society towards the issue. After I shared Humera’s story, five other friends found the courage to share the ordeal and years of suffering that they had gone through – and four out of these five, happened to be boys. Haider* who is 23-years-old now, is one such boy who wanted to share his story in the hope that it would help him and others break their silence and speak up for themselves. Haider was adopted by his aunt right after he was born due to certain family issues. His abuse started when he was four-years-old. His abuser was a close relative and a trust worthy person. He was very affectionate towards Haider, at times more than he was to his own children. Haider’s aunt had to leave town for a week due to some emergency when he was four-years-old and she left little Haider in the supervision of this uncle and his family. The uncle treated the boy nicely and gave him toys, candies and everything that he asked for. However, after a few days the uncle’s family also left for two days, leaving Haider alone with him. This was when the uncle started molesting him. Being a four-year-old child, Haider did not understand what was happening, he was unable to stop it and he did not tell anyone about the incident. Following this incident, the uncle started to visit Haider’s aunt quite often and brought chocolates and gifts for the boy every time. Whenever he got the chance to be alone with the boy, he molested him. It was only when Haider turned seven that he realised that his uncle’s behaviour seemed odd and inappropriate. Then, he began to avoid talking to him or being alone with him. One day when he was coming home from school, his uncle stopped by and asked him if he needed a ride. Haider refused to go with him but his uncle pulled a knife and threatened to hurt him if he refused to go along. He then took Haider to a secluded place and abused him, after which he warned him not to tell anyone about it. As a mere seven-year-old, Haider began to hate himself for a sin that someone else was committing. He tried telling his friends about what was happening but they made fun of him, called him funny names and taunted him because of his disturbed personality. Haider’s uncle continued to frequently abuse him and this went on until Haider turned 16. His aunt went away for some work again and his uncle took advantage of the situation. He took Haider to his house where he, along with four of his friends, abused the 16-year-old all night. This continued for several months and his ordeal came to an end only when his aunt moved to another place. However, his uncle continued to haunt him by calling and messaging him regularly. As time passed, no one listened to or believed Haider’s story and eventually he became quiet and withdrawn. He started to channel his depression and low self-esteem by cutting himself with a blade. Although years have passed, Haider still resorts to self-injury when the emotional and psychological trauma of living with his insecurities becomes unbearable. He has tried to end his life twice because people refused to believe him. This rejection from family members and the fact that his abuser holds a strong image in the family keeps him from sharing his issues with his family. One instance of his family’s insensitive reaction was when one of his siblings who holds a bachelors degree in Psychology told him and other family members that Haider was ‘not-normal’. He went on to claim that Haider had personality disorders due to his disturbed nature, depression, habit of talking to himself and keeping himself isolated from others. Ironically, he listed the symptoms of Haider’s problems as the problem itself, rather than trying to find the reasons behind his suicidal behaviour. In spite of the mental agony that he continues to go through, Haider still struggles with his nightmares in the hope that one day his miseries will come to an end. He has not sought psychological help because he fears talking to new people and the memories that he will have to re-live due to the questions that they will put him through. We all have friends who probably try to live normal lives but carry dark and painful secrets that they refuse to share with their friends and loved ones, simply because they fear facing denial and being judged. Whether one is male or female, sexual abuse may occur for a few seconds but its psychological impact lasts for years and male victims go through the same emotional trauma that females go through and hence, deserve equal support. Our society’s denials and self-satisfying beliefs that males cannot be abused, and adopting a ‘brush-it-under-the-carpet’ attitude cannot change the truth. It is imperative to let go of such myths and embrace reality so that male victims feel inspired and empowered enough to break the silence and seek help. Only then can we hope to bring an end to this horrendous crime. This article was written and shared with full consent of the victim and the name has been changed to protect the victim’s identity.

For as far back as I can remember most fights I had were with girls. In high school, I was okay to know I didn’t have many girls by my side, aside from the select one or two I had decided to be loyal to, protect and love till the end of our lives. Quite aptly, I was honoured at our Oscar’s themed farewell dinner in 11^th grade; my title read “Bring it on”. A conversation with four colleagues reminded me of those years. They seemed to be in swift agreement when it came to deciding one thing about women- they hated each other. Sure, it was a teeny tiny girl who told my friend she should hit the gym, apparently because her body shape was a “muffin-top”. Sure, it was a girl who told me,

“You look so tired. You should get a different job”.

“They’re jealous”, replied a gentleman on Twitter when I asked the million-dollar question. (I would have been happier with a robot’s response with a spam link)

“Yeah, obviously. We’re the same.”

“But she called me fat!” the friend wailed despite KR’s sincerest efforts to tell her otherwise.

“They’re judgmental because they’re so competitive yaar. They enjoy each other’s fatal mistakes.”

“Must have done it for the money”

“When there is so much pressure to be a certain way in society, it’s bound to result in negativity. So much is expected off of women, it has to show in some form.”

“It goes back to history; we compete for the best mate, to ensure the reproduction of our own genes. Survival of the fittest”, she wrote back when I gave up to ask, “So is it on our genes or what?”

“Hate is probably too strong a word but we do dislike other women.”

“Yes! We do hate each other!” she said with flash speed as an answer to the question.

There are many evils on this earth and our country has its fair share. Since our childhood, we have heard a countless number of disturbing stories – stories about little girls beaten to death by angry employers; the youngest daughter of a poor farmer being ‘taken’ by a cruel landlord only because her father failed to pay his debts; a young boy molested by his teacher in primary school; girls traded for money, women raped by beasts in the guise of aamils. And the list goes on. While female writers – including myself – are more sensitive towards issues of their own gender and tend to write more about the sufferings of women at the hands of men, I recently came across something which shook my entire being. One lazy evening, whilst browsing on Facebook, I came across a page called ‘Beautiful Teen Boys of Pakistan’. Alarmed and intrigued, I read the description of the page,

“Hi friends, u can c the contact numbers of beautiful teen boys.” [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="419"] Photo: Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Beautiful-Teen-Boys-Of-Pakistan/234868620019613)[/caption]

 “…the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth.”

The social media campaign to bring back over 200 school girls, kidnapped by Nigeria’s Boko Haram, has helped draw a lot of global attention to the activities of this vicious organisation. The campaign has help put some pressure on world leaders to act and assist Nigeria in the fight against this militant group. The United States, the United Kingdom and France have offered to help. However, the prospect of western intervention on this matter is generating a lot of debate. There are concerns that such an intervention could turn Nigeria into another Afghanistan. The issue here is this: what is the alternative to intervening to assist Nigeria to bring these girls safely back to their families? If intervening is not the solution, then what is? I mean, what is the essence of tweeting and using social media to mobilise everyone globally, if the campaign is to not get the world to help Nigeria resolve this matter? I do not think the #BringBackOurGirls hashtag campaign will actually be a successful one, until the awareness it has created is translated into a rescue effort to bring back those girls. It is very easy to sit in our comfortable rooms, in countries far away from Nigeria, and argue against the effects of western intervention in this matter, on the grounds that such an intervention would legitimise America’s military expansionist agenda in Africa. But here is the point; we are not sitting in Nigeria, we are not going through this misery. Can we, for once, just try and put ourselves in the shoes of the victims of this violence? Parents, whose children have been kidnapped, want their babies back. Families and communities that are constantly attacked by Boko Haram militants want an end to the mindless abduction and blood shed. They want the perpetrators to be brought to justice. Nigeria obviously needs military and intelligence support to deal with the situation at the moment. Those who are opposed to western intervention should propose a viable alternative to end this nightmare in Nigeria. If international assistance is provided to countries when they are hit by natural disasters, or when countries experience aviation mishaps, as was seen in the case of the missing Malaysia Airline flight MH370, why should countries – western or eastern – not extend help to Nigeria and ensure that these girls are brought back to their families? Nigeria is grappling with a humanitarian crisis with an international dimension. Why should they not be helped? The government is fighting a transnational terrorist group that recruits members from neighbouring countries. Boko Haram has already carried out trans-border raids and kidnappings. It has also attacked the UN building in Abuja. If it gets the opportunity, Boko Haram will start attacking embassies of western countries or business interests in Nigeria as well, as the militant outfits al Shabaab does in Kenya. The menace of Boko Haram is not just a Nigerian problem. This terrorist group poses a serious threat to peace and security in the region and beyond. The Boko Haram is not just a military issue. It is an ideological issue. We need to fight their ideology. For now, Nigeria needs help to rescue the girls and put in place effective counter terrorism initiatives. But in the long run, the country needs to adopt measures to address the root of the problem – the religious and ideological roots that support and help this menace grow. The name ‘Boko Haram’ means ‘western education is forbidden’ in the local Hausa language. This speaks volumes about the ideological leaning of this organisation. The group is opposed to ‘western education’ and secular governments. It is an offshoot of the ‘anti-western’, jihadist, theocratic ideology that prevails in many parts of northern Nigeria, hence its agitation for the establishment of an Islamic state. Boko Haram is a radical fall out of a quest for Sharia law and Islamic theocracy by Muslim majority states in the country. Like al Shabaab, Islamic extremism is Boko Haram’s ideological power base for mobilisation of support and for recruitment of members. The abduction of those 200 plus school girls is a radical demonstration of its extremist perception of women and its opposition to secular ideals of gender equality, dignity and human rights. Secularists, feminists and human rights campaigners should explore ways of counteracting the indoctrination, ‘dogmatisation’ and brainwashing of young Muslims in mosques and Islamic schools across northern Nigeria. It is at these ‘praying’ and ‘learning’ centres that clerics radicalise young Muslims and turn them into merchants of death and destruction. Human rights campaigners should liaise with secular groups and institutions to promote educational reform and inculcate the values of critical thinking, separation of mosque and state, tolerance of other religions and world views, free and open society and universal human rights.

“You don’t think it’ll happen to your child, until it does.”

“The American hero who made the ultimate sacrifice in the struggle against Femi-nazi ideology.”

As one travels, on the highway, from Peshawar to Swat, the lush green fields, dotted with tall poplar trees, appear breath-taking, and gradually the silhouette of the mountains become visible. The low-lying mountains gain height and the sound of water springs, gushing from the crevices of rocks create a melancholic music. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="590"] Photo: Sameera Rashid[/caption]   On a winding road from the Chakdara to Mingora, people are seen crossing the clear waters of river Swat, on makeshift bridges, and plum trees with delicate pink flowers bloom on the roadside orchids. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="590"] Photo: Sameera Rashid[/caption] Not only does Swat cast its spell on visitors with its wide towering mountains, whose peaks are half-hidden by curls of mists, but also another element of surprise is the mushroom growth of schools, both for girls and boys, in the Swat valley. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="590"] Photo: Sameera Rashid[/caption] The construction boom of schools in Swat belies the image of a war-ravaged region, infested with militants, where schools are routinely bombed by the Taliban militants, and where school girls are shot for speaking about female education. But the truth is that in the aftermath of the military operation, which was launched in 2009 to reclaim the area from militants, the people of Swat are seen eagerly sending their children, including girls, to the English medium schools being built with generous foreign donor funds. To understand what has triggered the school boom in Swat, I visited Fiza Ghat Sangota Presentation Convent, which had been blown to pieces in 2008 by Taliban militants for providing western education to girls and for acting as a centre of Christianity. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Sameera Rashid[/caption] After the partial reconstruction work, the school was re-opened in 2012. Some parts of the school, however, such as the gymnasium and auditorium are still under construction. As I took round of the school, beautiful girls, smartly dressed in their uniforms, with their hair neatly tied in ponytails, sang poems, in Urdu and English, with full gusto and enthusiasm. The younger girls synchronised their hand movements animatedly to convey the meaning of the poems. The students of the middle and senior sections were perfectly fluent in English. The school principal, Sister Greta Gill, explained that when the girls are admitted in the nursery section, they can only converse in Pashto, but gradually, they become fluent in both Urdu and English. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="337"] Photo: Sameera Rashid[/caption] The classrooms were visually pleasing and tastefully decorated with artwork, maps, murals, stuffed toys and models of stars, comets and planets. The windows were not draped with curtains, as is the practice in all schools, and you could view the misty clouds hanging low over mountain peaks right outside the class windows. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Sameera Rashid[/caption] When I asked the girls in ninth grade about their career aspirations, all of them replied in a chorus that they wanted to become doctors. However, as I prodded a little more, three girls added, after some hesitation that, they want to become army officers, and one chipped in, to my utter surprise that, she wished to become a cricketer like Shahid Afridi. So, apart from the conventional vocation of medicine, some girls were also striving to enter male-dominated professions. Then, I put another question to the class, I asked if they liked Malala Yousafzai and, surprisingly, the class echoed with a resounding

“No.”

“She likes Obama, so we dislike her,” said one girl. “She is using her story to earn money,” answered another.

“The people of Swat are socially conservative, and parents, especially mothers, are not educated; so, the girls are brought up on the ages-old anti-colonial narrative, which, in a way, echoes the Taliban narrative. We are unable to counter that narrative at the school, as the Taliban militants, whose leader Mullah Fazlullah operates across the border in Afghanistan, and still scouts the area, sending us intimidating messages. Therefore, we keep mum about the Taliban and Malala Yousafzai and remain focused on our educational activities.”

 “I hate these blurred lines. I know you want it. I know you want it.” The song that took social media by storm is undoubtedly catchy. As I hummed it, I was oblivious to the fact that the lyrics would create such a social media uproar and spark controversy all over the world, making it one of the most frequently played songs of the decade and promoting Robin Thicke to surpass all boundaries of fame or notoriety. For a long time, I wasn’t aware of what all the fuss was about. To me, Blurred Lines was just another song. The song introduced the ‘twerking’ phenomenon to the world with our once innocent ‘Hannah Montana’ showing the world how this ‘move’ is carried out at the MTV Video Music Awards (VMA) and it was then that I did a little bit of research to find out just how appalling and degrading the song was. The song that has been branded as a ‘rape anthem’ on several media platforms has been banned by the University College London (UCL) student union alongside 20 other UK student unions. And after carefully listening to the lyrics, I would rightly agree to the branding myself. The lyrics promote violence against women and reinforce rape myths, which several countries are working hard to dissipate. I failed to come across a single lyric that promoted respecting women, discouraging men from objectifying women or encouraged boys to make girls feel comfortable in their presence. Instead it does the complete opposite of it all and conceptualises untaken consent as something interesting and fascinating. In light of the controversy, one of the singer’s social media advisers’ thought it was a good idea for Thicke to participate in a live debate session on Twitter using the hash tag #AskThicke. It started out as an innocent marketing strategy to promote his then-upcoming album, Paula, dedicated to his wife - a wife who has already filed for separation. https://twitter.com/MariaJPrice/status/483861473882824704 My thoughts exactly. In hindsight, it truly is a wonder what his PR team was thinking when they decided to run this campaign. I didn’t follow the debacle myself, but as of now, I wish I had seen the events unfold. Those of you who did, I have to say, I’m jealous. https://twitter.com/_yungkoala/status/483727210621054977 https://twitter.com/bazlyons/status/483731287904374784 You would think it started out fine before it got hijacked. You would be wrong. The first question put forward to him was a personal one. https://twitter.com/davidviola/status/483728269934481409 I am curious, though. Has she? Or did the gazillion apologies at concerts not work yet? There were some genuinely curious questions as well. https://twitter.com/deansmith7/statuses/483972153608773632 https://twitter.com/JoLiptrott/status/483768538025701376 https://twitter.com/sophiaskinbjerg/status/487516457983827968 https://twitter.com/ThePoke/status/483885498281521153 https://twitter.com/Janus456/status/483897343993851904 https://twitter.com/katie_khan/status/484048300341854208 It wasn’t long before the puns started coming in. What do you expect when you write a song with the lyrics “I know you want it”, really? https://twitter.com/Picklechops_x23/statuses/483930442803212288 https://twitter.com/MaggieMimsy/status/486995994106941440 https://twitter.com/KittyKnits/status/483868883255033856 https://twitter.com/shakiraevanss/statuses/483771198073892864 The message is clear. We do not want young girls to look at a video of scantily clad women and get the idea that their bodies are to be used as mere sexual objects. We do not want young boys looking at the video and thinking that a girl’s consent is not really necessary and all you have to do is read between the lines. Treat women like human beings who have a right to be respected and have a mind of their own to make decisions. And more importantly, learn to respect those decisions. Stop objectifying women! Unlike his new album, the experiment proved to be excellent entertainment. https://twitter.com/suzanne_moore/status/483920877428695040 https://twitter.com/Independent/status/483977432803065856 The Twitter campaign had all the ingredients of a regular “ask me anything” publicity event: The pop culture reference: https://twitter.com/grungerelic/status/487453876082053120 The life lesson for future generations (and we all know we can learn a lot from Robin Thicke, he’s practically a cautionary tale): https://twitter.com/emmaensign/status/483957390769811456 The occasional death threat: https://twitter.com/MrDuttonPeabody/statuses/483894610683781120 A shout-out to his famous father: https://twitter.com/fowlm/status/484154323018846208 The hilariously appropriate tongue twister: https://twitter.com/mistertodd/status/484204293537275904 And a piece of advice: https://twitter.com/GuardianUS/status/486538208285818881 Needless to say, Robin Thicke was literally “asking for it” (no pun intended). https://twitter.com/Simmy41/statuses/483927591695708160 We are all aware of the fact that sexist attitudes exist in every corner of the world and will not cease to exist. But such songs strengthen and encourage such insolences instead of discouraging them. The reaction on Twitter (and his album sales) prove that the people are not willing to let go of such degradation of women easily.

If you haven’t seen the new advertisement from the Procter and Gamble-owned Always, then you need to see it. This advert, which explores what it means to do something ‘like a girl’, topped the Campaign Viral Chart, bumping Activia’s Shakira video off the first place. It has been shared 536,519 times in the last few days, and it is definitely something everyone should watch. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x20i0zy_the-video-will-make-you-proud-to-run-like-a-girl_fun[/embed] Directed by the award winning filmmaker, Lauren Greenfield, who also directed the famous documentary, The Queen of Versailles, this commercial begins with a bunch of grownups entering the studio and being asked to demonstrate how to run, fight and throw like a girl. And the result is what you would expect: they start running, throwing and fighting inefficiently, showing weakness in all their movements. Then a bunch of young girls are asked to do the same thing, and they, unlike the adults, throw and run powerfully. When one of the little girls is asked if doing something like a girl is a bad thing or a good thing, she replies saying that she doesn’t know what it means, but that,

“It sounds like you are trying to humiliate someone”.

Chand raat of the Meethi Eid — a phrase so nice, you can say it twice! When you read it, doesn’t it sound grand and full of enchanting sweetness? Well, it is. It’s the Eid that doesn’t leave roads drenched in blood and streets full of guts and ripped open stomachs. This is Meethi Eid and the sweetness I essentially indulge in on this grand occasion is staring at girls, left right and centre. Without a shadow of doubt, chand raat is a taroo’s heaven, his Las Vegas and his Raiwind Palace. It all started when I was four-years-old. Word on the street was that a gori ma’am (white lady) had come to visit our village to see the schools and meet the kids. I was dressed up and sent to meet the white lady. What a sight. The moment was amazing, seeing over 300 men just staring at her, regardless of them being Chandio, Afridi, Butt or Lund. All generational rivalries were put aside for a common goal — stare at the gori. From that day onwards, I knew that the only way we can all get along is through shameless staring. I have been an avid stare-r. I started from the nurse who cut the cord, went on to the female teachers in my all-boys school and now, I am proudly known as the sala office ka tharki. Girls give weird and angry looks when they are stared at, but I am pretty sure they secretly like it. Sometimes, when they say: “No… hell no! Get away from me,” what they really mean is, “yes”. This phenomenon is popularly known as ‘playing hard to get’ (take notes guys; I am giving you pearls here). Also, the girls wearing western clothes — jeans and tops — they love it when we stare. The reason they wear those clothes is so that we can stare — they like the attention. Why else would they wear those clothes, right? Back to the event of the year, that is chand raat. My chand raat starts with picking up my friends and then hitting the malls — you know the usual mehndi corners to check out girls while they are all dressed up to get their henna on. Mehndi corners are only for girls and families, so we just stay close to a family, as an attempt to blend in. Some girls come with their boys, who give you the stink eye if you check out their ‘Ras Malai’ (yes, I have actually heard someone call his loved one that). We aim for the girls with families; they are easy prey. Stare at them from afar, make eye-contact when Abu isn’t looking, stay close by, wait till she looks at you, and then…wink! Nine out of 10 times she rejects, but every now and then, a sad, lonely, low-self esteemed girl comes along and she doesn’t slap us. The one that does slap us leaves us wondering how she could do this to us. Following the slap, other taroos seize the opportunity to be seen as her knight in shining armour, become Ajay Devgan from Diljalay and start thrashing me in an attempt to save her ‘honour’. But then again, that is all part of the thrill, as I always say, ‘one has to risk it for the biscuit’. You might have female friends, but my several years’ experience of staring at them has taught me more than you’d ever know about them as friends. I have more knowledge about women than most of the men around. So what if my mom can’t find me a bride because everyone calls me cheap? One day, I will find a girl who eye-to-eyes me and we will tango like Taher Shah’s curls. Yours truly, Taroo (I got my eyes on you, literally) Like Life & Style on Facebook, follow @ETLifeandStyle on Twitter for the latest in fashion, gossip and entertainment.

Two years ago… Sub-editor at the Sports Desk; a quick stop over or even a detour because, truth be told, there was no future. To write or edit about ‘dribble dribble pass’ and a ‘50th-minute strike’ was just not journalism for me, at least as a woman. Or so I thought of the job at that point.  Six months down the line and then some more... Struggle. So much struggle. I felt like the desk was mocking me and I felt like I was mocking myself by trying to figure out how the world of sports functioned. From the day I had joined people kept questioning my choice with amused expressions on their faces. It really wasn’t a female-dominated field or even close to it, I had joined because it was the first opportunity after graduating and seemed like an ‘easy-ish’ challenge. I knew sports, I’d played different kinds for years but to actually know the technical aspects in depth, to know the names, who plays for which team, and the rules - so so many rules - now that was a whole different story. Who was going to take me seriously? I kept telling myself I would quit, or change desks. But once you’re in this world something just keeps pushing you to learn and to want to know more. Sports pages aren’t just about who won or who lost – it’s bigger than that. It has life stories, achievements of teams, politics and entertainment. You get to realise the struggles of female players in the country, or even around the world, and make a difference for them by telling their stories or even the stories of others (male athletes) who have risen from absolutely nothing in order to fulfil their passion. The amount of passion you feel is enough to want to continue in the field and achieve more. Two years later, present day... Senior sub-editor and desk in-charge, I had entered with a mind of a two-year-old and had grown a few years at least. This could not have been possible if it hadn’t been for my mentors who, despite my ‘brainlessness’ or ‘lack of knowledge’ about who the Pakistan cricket team’s captain was when I had initially joined, did not give up on me. With the right kind of motivation anyone can make it, be it male or female. Honestly, you can go leaps and bounds in this field by the way you write or edit the pictures you can use, the kind of story ideas you can take out from the smallest of events – the freedom is liberating. It’s a brilliant conversation-starter too and a break from all the hard talks of natural calamities and political upheavals. Now when I tell others, or even when my friends or family members introduce my job for me, I can see the look of surprise on people’s faces instead of the initial bemusement. Some of course, when asked to guess, still think I either work for the magazine or write for the ‘gossip columns’, but when reality dawns, their looks are one of a kind. It’s not because there’s anything wrong with either of those areas, it’s more about learning the unexpected. The icing on the cake, however, is when people in the field, higher up the chain, be it other sports editors or someone directly related to a certain sport, discovers a female is heading the desk, the response of ‘this is so refreshing to hear’ just makes all the struggles to get here, as well as future struggles, worth it. If the country can produce female players, female sports-journalists should follow through as well. There are limitations for both but there is still some scope, especially when it comes to making a difference, be it in the smallest of ways.

“I can’t wait to pursue my bachelor’s degree abroad,” I beamed with delight.

 “Wait, are you not going to get married?”

“Log kya kahein ge?” (What will people say?)

“I have not seen him yet”.

In a recent conversation with a mother to little girls, I asked her what she had planned for her children with regards to their education. I was merely referring to school choices but she told me, quite categorically,

“Matric, FSc and then straight to medical college!”

“She’s got so much potential, why doesn’t she want to be a doctor?”

‘Remotely intelligent human female with remotely decent grades’ + ‘Must get married soon at a decent child-bearing age’ = Medical degree

“Please do assure us, you will work after marriage?” instead of, “I hope your rotis are round and you do not have any fertility issues!”

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

“All this time, you’ve never felt angry?”

“No. Not even as small as an atom. Or maybe a nucleus of an atom. Or maybe a proton. Or maybe a quark.”

2015 was no different from the previous years if we talk about the morning shows in Pakistan. Morning shows have emerged as one of the mandatory pillars without which an entertainment channel cannot stand amidst others. This trend has taken a good number of years to penetrate into our daily lives and this trend has no threat of going extinct any time soon. From nine o’clock in the morning till 11 o’clock, the slot is fixed for these shows. Sometimes the stretch is to 11:30 am or even 12:00 pm on some channels, every Monday to Friday. The hosts of these morning shows claim that they blow new energy into their viewers every morning and every episode is a rejuvenation dose for their followers. Their popularity particularly amongst housewives proves as a reiteration of these claims. I, however, beg to differ! All these morning shows could be anything but ‘new’. Nothing in them is new or even close to being new or innovative in nature. From Good Morning Pakistan to Satrungi; from Subah Savery Samma Kay Saath to Jago Pakistan Jago, all the channels fail to bring forth content that is new, unique and refreshing. Morning show teams compete in a race to become the best and the pressure to grab the highest Television Rating Points (TRPs) boggling their minds reaches the limit that their heads seize to function rationally. The more they try to become unique, the more they produce content that is clichéd and has already become a trend. Today around 15 national channels, including both entertainment and news, run their own morning shows and all of them seem to follow particular trends and themes. Let’s have a roundup on all the highlights and trends of morning shows of 2015. 1.      The return of old faces 2015 can correctly be called a ‘homecoming’ year for the pioneers of the contemporary morning show hosts. Disappearing from Geo TV soon after a morning show fiasco in 2014, Shaista Wahidi returned to Hum Network without making much noise. Her reason to leave was of a serious nature. Back in 2014, she hosted a wedding week themed show for Veena Malik and a controversy triggered when the effort to do things differently went way too off the track. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1uqupt_veena-malik-shadi-wedding-with-asad-utho-jago-pakistan-shaista-lodhi-geo-tv_news http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1vblko_shaista-lodhi-apologize-after-veena-malik-rukhsati-in-utho-jago-pakistan_people Religious sentiments were aroused in some segments and the matter got controversial which led her to flee from Pakistan. But now she is back with renewed energy to take Sitaray Ki Subha to new heights. The happy-go-lucky Nadia Khan aka ‘Miss Happy To You’ took a long break from TV and parted ways from hosting for many years , but year 2015 saw her reunite with Geo Network in November as she re-launched The Nadia Khan show. Nadia promises to deliver a morning show that would stand out from the rest and won’t be an imitation of the formats other leading morning shows follow. Let’s see if what she brings to her audience is new or not! 2.      Not everybody can pull off a morning show [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] 2015 left us with some realisations that no matter how much we like to watch morning shows or we simply loathe them, to be a morning show host is no easy job. It looks all fun and no work but it in reality it requires a lot of hard work and consistency and not everybody can be a good morning show host. We witnessed Bushra Ansari do a morning show for Geo TV for a couple of months. From Aangan Terha to Loose Talk to Saima Chaudhary, we know the versatility in acting Ansari is gifted with but that couldn’t work with being a morning show host. Similarly former news anchor, Madiha Naqvi couldn’t perform well as a morning show host for all.  3.      Wedding weeks From chiffon lehengas to well-coordinated dancing, the weddings on a morning show have all the ingredients of a contemporary desi wedding that you may be given an illusion of a real wedding just being played on TV. From mayon to mehendi to baraat and concluding valima, everything from the beginning to end is covered in a wedding week. Many morning shows have these themes as a permanent part of their show that is stretched upon weeks at times instead of just one week. I have been trying to comprehend the purpose of these themes since their inception and my constancy at failing is parallel to the consistency with which these themes are repeated and adapted by even more channels. Maybe, the idea of getting married is alien to our people and their morning shows are just trying to help get the people acquainted with the very concept of ‘marriage’.  How I utterly fail to understand the need of such shows. 4.      Let’s remarry the already married Some morning show hosts try to innovate upon the brilliant idea of showing a wedding on a live show that they somehow convince celebrity couples who have already been married for years to play as bride and groom and then happens the re-enactment of the big day just to literally re- live their memories.  5.      Any expecting celebrities around? Let’s throw them a baby shower. There have been days when morning show hosts are tired of their jobs and need to do something to fill the two hour slot, they get paid for. So they scout for a belly with a bump in Pakistan’s land of fame. If the hunting succeeds, they kick off the celebrations for the mom-to-be. The set is painted all pink if it’s a girl, blue if it’s a boy and a mix of both if the gender is still a secret. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Wrc9yFHaWw 6.      Mirror mirror on the wall, which morning show make girls fairest of them all? A woman cherishes her beauty and that certainly is her right. But does beauty necessarily mean to be as white as snow? If any part of Pakistan was left uncontaminated with the flawed notion of ‘fair is beautiful’ then the morning shows in 2015 would definitely have carried this message forward. Asian skin is meant to be Asian not European; I never knew it was so hard of a concept. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] 7.      Bored of wedding weeks? Let’s do it differently! Let’s hunt a groom down! Be it aunties next door or morning show hosts, weddings are on their minds. The team of Good Morning Zindagi morning show thought to stand out by finding a suitor for film actress Laila. Potential suitors from all walks of lives competed in different rounds to prove themselves best to win Laila’s coveted heart. Weeks of entertainment passed by with an anti-climactic end to it when actress Meera’s brother who wasn’t even a competing suitor conquered Laila’s heart. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2j6vbt 8.      Aamir Liaquat’s journey from Aalim Online to Subh e Pakistan [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] Seeing Saahir Lodhi being the only male morning show host in 2015, Dr Aamir Liaquat jumped in to give him some competition. Dr Aamir seems to be enjoying to experiment with different ways to adhere to our TV screens and what could be a better opportunity than to be a morning show host. Let’s see if with him as a morning show host, we see morning shows evolve in 2016 or not.  9.      Fortune telling? Yes, please! [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Sugar Pop[/caption] Morning shows which are new and want to have a firm footing in this race of TRPs make sure they have a segment of fortune-telling either in form of horoscope, palmistry, tarot card reading or numerology. Our society that already has an external locus of control is given another opportunity to project their shortcomings onto fate; conveniently brushing away responsibilities of their deeds off of their shoulders. 10.   Cruising away in Istanbul. Newest addition to the morning show trend is Sunrise From Istanbul on See TV that is recorded in Istanbul. The show is hosted by Maria Wasti in a boat; where the ambiance is adorned with Turkish singing, Turkish cuisine and a chilly breeze over the rippling water along with a friendly chitchat with the guest without the interruption from live calls or other on-set distractions. This show is simple in its content and the format is contrary to the conventional morning shows. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] Here is a quick list of morning shows of 2015 that were somewhat similar in terms of themes and content: Subh e Pakistan - Amir Liaquat Hussain [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] Subha Ki Kahani - Madiha Naqvi [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] Utho Geo Pakistan - Bushra Ansari [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] Sitaray ki Subha- Shaista Wahidi [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] Good Morning Pakistan- Nida Yasir [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] Nadia Khan Show- Nadia Khan [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] Jago Pakistan Jago- Sanam Jung [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] The morning show with Sanam Baloch- Sanam Baloch [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] Satrungi - Javeria Saud [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] ATV Morning with Farah [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] Morning with Juggun [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] Subha Bakhair Pakistan (Capital News) [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] Subah Savery Samma k saath- Saahir Lodhi [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="600"] Photo: Facebook[/caption] And that’s the wrap folks! Here is to hoping that year 2016 is a year of improvement, rational content and moving-forward but not that of stagnation for the morning

On numerous occasions in the past, heavy fines have been imposed on Johnson & Johnson and other prominent pharmaceutical companies for various offences such as false labelling, poor manufacturing practices, Medicare fraud, and kickbacks. This was possible because consumer protection laws are strongly implemented around the world. Unfortunately, here, in Pakistan, we have no such laws; everyone is manufacturing and selling products without the risk of facing any trouble. It’s in our society that edible items and medical products are manufactured without any respect for the consumers’ health. Let’s look at how these businesses exploit people. Our society denies proper education or vocational training to girls, particularly those belonging to the middle and lower strata of society. Parents and relatives reiterate that their lives are only meant for marriage. What happens next? Women divert their attention to getting married. Our culture perceives skin tone to be an incredibly perplexing matter, as it’s stereotypically believed that girls with wheatish or dark pigmented skin will be unsuccessful in securing a suitable husband. To adapt to the cultural definition of beauty, girls become obsessed with the need to manipulate their skin and choose to depend on low quality skin whitening creams without realising, or rather not caring about, the effects a certain cream can have on them. There is also no mention of these creams having been approved by the Pakistan Standard Quality Control Authority (PSQCA). Among the abundance of locally manufactured skin whitening creams – there are many to choose from –currently, one of the most popular ones is Faiza beauty cream. Others in this category are Gipsy Amazing cream, Action-C, Face Fresh and Golden Pearl. These products either do not specify certain ingredients or vaguely mention them; they have mentioned the ingredients, but the quantity of each item is missing. For example, Kojjic acid is listed as an ingredient on many creams, but its quantity is never mentioned. Mercury is also used in some of the skin whitening products. Perhaps the manufacturers are not aware of the after-effects themselves. Mercury can help in the overall improvement of complexion, but is equally capable of generating severe diseases if overused. A cream containing excess quantity of mercury can be fatal for a baby, if s/he happens to accidentally swallow it. In Pakistan, the medical facilities available are unsatisfactory. Around 350,000 to 400,000 children die due to common ailments like diarrhoea every year before reaching their fifth birthday. If we are unable to provide medical treatment for curable ailments like diarrhoea, how will we even begin to provide treatment to those who may suffer from skin cancer as a result of these substandard creams? I think it’s about time our girls raise their heads and seek fulfilment in education, instead of being subjected to cultural ideologies of beauty and empowerment. Furthermore, effective consumer laws must be established where consumer pleas are heard and matters are settled in months, instead of being languished for decades. I hope the government empowers institutions like PSQCA and Consumer Association of Pakistan (CAP) and encourages similar bodies to operate efficiently so they can maintain a check and balance over manufacturers and prevent them from burdening consumers with their harmful products.

The four and a half months I spent in Turkey as an exchange student were the best part of my life. But after a while of living there, I had already started to miss my family and friends and couldn’t wait to be back with my loved ones in the country where my home existed. But there was something I had forgotten about my home country. The day I was flying back to Pakistan, while waiting at the Istanbul Airport’s lounge, I realised what I had forgotten and what was awaiting me in Karachi. The excitement of returning home slowly began to fade when the thought of seeing so many Pakistanis after such a long time dawned on me, because with Pakistanis comes an uncomfortable and constant leering by men. During my time in Turkey, I travelled a lot, and that too all, alone but not once was I uncomfortable or scared. Sitting and waiting at the Istanbul airport, surrounded with the people of my country, with whom I can relate, gave me a feeling of insecurity. Uncles and boys were staring at me. Not just me but other girls too. It was very uncomfortable for me, may be because I was no longer used to people looking at me without blinking. I got up and rushed to the washroom to escape the gawking eyes. That wasn’t the end of it. The real show began when, at the Karachi airport, I was waiting for my luggage to arrive. I was the only girl there without any family member or friend by her side. So many pairs of eyes were ogling me, some pretended that they were not staring if I made any eye contact and some were simply dheet (shameless). I still shudder to recall a boy in that red, body-hugging, silk shirt. He would come in front of me every now and then, and make me cringe with his piercingly sharp stares. I wanted to cry and just run away from the situation. As soon as I collected my luggage, I scurried outside the airport mindlessly assuming that I was headed towards safety. Little did I know that the stares would increase drastically! There were new characters in my living nightmare. From ‘gutka’ boys to toothless uncles, all had their eyes on me. Their sexual frustration was very evident on their faces. I felt disgusted to the extent that I prayed,

“Zameen phat jaye aur wo sab uss main saama jayen.” (I hope the earth opens up and swallows all of them whole!)

“Masla kya hai?” (What is your problem?)

“STOP STARING AT US, YOU CREEP!”

“Mummy, I can’t find an emoji of a female architect or ski-instructor online,” said my confused daughter.

There are certain positive developments in Pakistan that I wished to extend my solidarity with as a liberal from across the Indo-Pak border. But as I set out to write this piece, we had the news of the arrest of an Indian on espionage charges in Balochistan, fanning hatred in both Pakistan and India. Apart from this, we had some sad news coming in at the global level from Brussels, the Ivory Coast, and the blasts in Lahore on Easter. However, negativity has to be fought with positivity. We, the liberals, have to move forward with our actions to defeat the agenda of those coming in our way rather than feel pessimistic and bogged down. To work towards creating a terror-free climate in South Asia before the Kashmir issue can be negotiated upon would also give Pakistan the opportunity to raise its concerns about the alleged Indian interference in Balochistan. At the same time, the Pakistani establishment must look into its own blunders in Balochistan. Pakistanis citing reports of international human rights organisations in India-administered Kashmir, often shy away from believing reports from the same organisations about human rights violations. The Supreme Court of Pakistan has also recognised human rights violations in Balochistan. It’s a given Balochistan has a complex history. Out of a basic commitment to human rights values, I would suggest that the 15 point resolution on Balochistan should be adopted by the Supreme Court Bar Association. This resolution was supported by various Pakistani political parties, but it should be implemented right away. Moving on from these unfortunate events, first and foremost, I must make clear that the acknowledgement of Pakistan’s positive developments is not in any way written out of a patronising desire. In fact, as someone who has been committed to human rights globally, as well as one who bears a personal attachment to South Asia, I am writing this piece as a genuine appreciation for whatever has happened in the spirit of solidarity with the liberal and progressive forces in your country. Of course, much more needs to be done to make Pakistan a better place and the same applies for India. I am just as aware that my country, India, also has a long way to go in eliminating socio-political identity clashes based on religion and other factors, as well as ensuring that the rights of women and the poor are safeguarded. 1. Firstly, I offer the heartiest of congratulations on the hanging of  Salman Taseer’s killer. Although, as unfortunate as it is that many Pakistanis have bestowed upon him the halo of martyrdom, the enforcement of the death penalty in this case acts as an indicator that the law does not spare violent extremists, whether they act against minorities or against those who speak up for them. However, to reinforce this sentiment, the blasphemy law under Section 295-C of the Pakistan Penal Code needs to be repealed once and for all:

“295-C: Use of derogatory remarks, etc., in respect of the Holy Prophet: Whoever by words, either spoken or written, or by visible representation or by any imputation, innuendo, or insinuation, directly or indirectly, defiles the sacred name of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) shall be punished with death, or imprisonment for life, and shall also be liable to fine.”

“295-A: Deliberate and malicious acts intended to outrage religious feelings of any class by insulting Its religion or religious beliefs: Whoever, with deliberate and malicious intention of outraging the 'religious feelings of any class of the citizens of Pakistan, by words, either spoken or written, or by visible representations insults the religion or the religious beliefs of that class, shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years, or with fine, or with both.”

“The case has lingered on for far too long.”

I was reading the paper while having toasted bread with a cup of coffee, and my eyes fell upon a story that sent shivers down my spine – two brothers had raped a 14-year-old girl. I placed the cup back on the table since my hands were trembling and all of a sudden, I was a broken little girl again. I was transported back into the past, the same past that had affected not only my childhood, but my soul – a past where I was loved and was the apple of someone’s eye. But sometimes, love isn’t enough because I still remember. I remember that day clearly; I was wearing my favourite sweet pink dress with tiny white flowers on it. Mommy had made two pony tails. I was laughing, playing and running across the hall, I went out on the street and my uncle (that brutal beast across the street), opened up his arms, calling me to play peek-a-boo. We didn’t play peek-a-boo that day. Instead he made me sit on his lap. I knew it was wrong, but I was afraid, shy and way too young to speak up about it at that particular moment. Bottom line: those mere five minutes shushed me for life. It went on till I was 13, when we miraculously moved somewhere else. But it left an everlasting impact on my soul. The depression and the adverse psychological conditions didn’t go away in a day. I would not realise the tears rolling down my cheeks, or when my coffee grew cold, I didn’t realise how long I had been holding the tears in. Now that I’ve crossed my teens, I’ve found myself capable of handling any situation. For a while, I used to think I was alone in my suffering, but I come across an increased number of rape cases around the world from time to time. The current increase in a wave of sexual harassment, not only amongst the younger generation, but our senior citizens as well, gave me courage to stand on my own and give weightage to myself. This emotional trauma can be overcome by having a shoulder to rely on, which will eventually push you back into life again – that in any case is remarkably difficult. My niece, the apple of my eye, started to crawl yesterday. She is an exquisite child with a sharp mind that is capable of understanding what happens around her. I was tending to her the other day as she played with her toys when I decided that she, and the other children in our vicinity, do not only need love, but more so, they need protection. Not only physical protection, but mental protection as well. I will not let my niece’s childhood crumble – I will be her protector. I have to build a relationship with my niece in order to introduce a level of comfort so she doesn’t hesitate before talking to me; a level of comfort that I never had with anyone. We need to discuss the little things in a way that make our children feel safe. The media, along with the silly Bollywood masala, tends to demolish my niece’s character and I’ve realised that we are the ones who can help our girls – no one else can. We need to keep our eyes open for them today and every day that follows. We need to wake up so that our children do not become victims of molestation or abduction.